Can you help us to improve our writing?

This week in Literacy we have been imagining that we’re emigrating with our families and we are writing stories set in an airport. Miss K was really impressed with Juanisha’s descriptive writing. Take a look!

At the start of today’s lesson, we looked at Juanisha’s second paragraph and chose a sentence to improve. Here are some examples:

https://audioboo.fm/boos/2183360-kali-and-aimee.mp3?nojs=1

https://audioboo.fm/boos/2183358-ellie-and-emily.mp3?nojs=1

https://audioboo.fm/boos/2183363-lauren-s-sentence.mp3?nojs=1

Do YOU have any suggestions to help Juanisha improve her writing? Please comment!

How we have been using our speaking and listening skills in Science and D&T!

Do you know how to kill a Klingon?
This week, 5m were given the important job of designing a simple lever mechanism which, when made to scale, will be able to crush a Klingon’s skull. We decided that killing off the Klingons is the only way to protect our kingdom from a Klingon invasion!
We had lots of fun making and testing our skull crusher prototypes this afternoon! Miss Kingsley showed us this Explain Everything video before asking us to discuss ideas for our own models.

We then made and tested our skull crusher models!

Amy’s Video

We learnt about levers and could identify the main parts of a simple lever. Here is an example of one of our labelled levers!klingon skitch 2

How do you think we could improve our design?
What do you know about levers? Can you name some common levers?

Editing and improving each other’s work!

Miss K gave us a challenge to help each other to develop our understanding of how to use sensory description after showing us this video:

We discussed how to use sensory description and wrote these amazing sentences!
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Fantastic Alan Peat sentences to describe the setting of our airport stories!

Today in Year 5 we have worked really hard writing sentences to describe Manchester airport, which is the setting of the stories we will be writing next week! We wrote 2Ad or 3_ed sentences, similes, NOUN, who, which, where and personification of weather sentences, using our Alan Peat booklets, thesauruses, word banks and pictures to help us.

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We then had our first go at using Thinglink to publish some of our splendid sentences!

Finally, here are a selection of our amazing sentences! Miss K is very proud of us! 🙂

Can you help us to better understand sensory description?

This video shows that we understand personification really well! However, Miss K thinks we need further work on recognising sensory words and description in a text. Can you comment with explanations and examples of sensory description?

Thanks

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Using Alan Peat’s 2Ad sentence type for character descriptions.

Today in Miss K’s Year 5 Literacy group we generated language to describe characters for the stories we plan to write next week. We then took the language we had generated and used it to write some 2Ad sentences!

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